It's like what Shakespeare said, "To be or not to be?  That is the question."  It is SO easy for me to wake up, saying "good morning God" and then no sooner that I say that I start nick picking about little things all day long until I am frustrated, tired, mad, selfish, forgetting that the day was a gift from God for me to enjoy.  We don't know how many days we get.   Why do I waste many of them being negative or worrying or down?  

Today was an overcast day.   I could see the dark clouds moving over the foothills towards us carrying piles of rain with them.  The wind was blowing warning of the storm ahead.  It could have promoted a negative spirit, but instead I was determined to fight against it.  On a side note, I have been reading "Crazy Love."  Good book.  It comes with videos to watch online.  Anyway the pastor talked about looking at life with joy.  I had forgotten about how amazing this place is to live in.  How God designed it so intricately, so beautiful.  Today, the wind and the stormy feel was amazing.  It kept reminding me of God.  Being with my little girl at our house was special.  I got to watch her play and smile and laugh and hug me tight.  Holding my son in my arms to soothe his fever was special.  I was able to be the mom he needed, letting him know he was loved and was going to be taken care of.  I got to see our avacado seed sprout finally after a long time.  I can't wait to see it turn into a plant.  And then telling the kids a bedtime story about my childhood friend Juli and how I smeared my sucked thumb over her face at night while we were sleeping when we were kids.  My kids and I laughed and laughed.  She wasn't to impressed though at the time. lol.

Thank you God for the gift that is a day.  I am sorry I focus on me and my life too much instead of allowing myself to be in the moment and find joy.  Please help me to continue fighting against the spirit of frustration and negativity.  Help me to be filled with Your joy more and more.  In Your name Lord Jesus, Amen ~

 I know it has been a while since I last wrote.  December was crazy busy with church events, work and family life.  January has been the month to catch up and re-prioritize.  My family also has been sick.  Mine has lasted the longest.  I haven't been able to sing very well for the past two weeks.  I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel though.  Just not sure when I will be feeling 100% again.

I am still writing and rewriting songs.  I haven't posted anything new because I've been waiting until I was satisfied with a song and had time to record it.  It is a timely process and I don't want to rush it.  

In the mean time, a friend and I were talking about what we as musicians could do to raise funds for Haiti.  I don't know about you, but I have been consumed with finding out the latest on the people of Haiti.  My heart has been with them, praying for them, hoping they would continue to find survivors, hoping they would start to receive the aid that they so desperately need.  So we have booked February 5th at Panama Red for a benefit concert to provide funds for the relief effort.  My friend Dan has a cover band that has played there on a number of occasions.  I will sing some of my songs and hopefully a song I am currently writing for the event.  We might be able to have a couple of other musicians join us as well.  I will keep you posted.  If you will be in the area on that evening I would love to see you. = )

Well, I better get back to bed.  I have got to beat this cough of mine.  Hope you have a great rest of your week.

Lara~

 This month is December.  When I was young I looked forward to December.  I grew up in a Pastor's home and so there were lots of parties to go to, many evening rehearsals for the big Christmas productions (where I had the run of the theatre and it became my home away from home), traveling up to be with my grandparents with all the rest of the family for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, lots of presents, food and fun.  It was my favorite time of year.  

 Now I am an adult.  I am on the flip side, scheduling all of the parties, buying all of the gifts, rehearsing for Christmas events, running after children, finding babysitting for all of the nights out, working, and doing all of the cooking. I do look forward to Christmas, but it is a bit different now.

 As I reflect on this month, I am sitting here in my living room by a small fire as the night begins to wake.  It is so nice to stop and find a moment to be still during this season.  I am reflecting on God, on Jesus and the gift of salvation He gave to us.  I am so thankful to have Him in my life, leading and guiding me and my family.  

 Even through all of the business I am finding some time to write again.  Brian and I are working on a Christmas song that we are hoping to introduce to our church this season.  I am also finishing up on a cowrite worship song that will be fun to share with you.  I have so many goals and hopes, but can only work on them a little at a time right now.  But that is life.  We just can't allow ourselves to give up on them, right?  Even if it is just one foot in front of the other, it is still a step forward.  


 May you all have a wonderful week.  I hope you will find a moment of peace to reflect on Jesus and His amazing love for you.

 

 

God, help me live this out everyday.  Amen. 

Lara

 This past month I have learned some things.  These things aren't just little lessons of life, they have been huge and are continuing to refine me as a person.  They are hard to admit, especially when I am trying to make a career out of songwriting, but I feel in my heart I need to be honest and open with everyone who takes the time to come to my website.

 1) I have learned that I am a amateur songwriter working towards being a professional one.  I have been striving so hard it has seemed to be better than I am at this moment.  I have hoped that these songs I have written were complete and finished.  But most of them are not.  How have I learned this?  Well, through critiques I have received from some intermediate to advance songwriters who believe in me enough to be very honest and upfront.  I have been studying more about the "craft" of songwriting (there is a craft to songwriting?).  Yep.  Crazy huh? lol.  Through books and classes.  I came to a place where I died to the idea that the inspiration I was receiving from God and the talent He has given to me were enough to create strong, long-lasting songs.  But that has not been the case.  I believe in my songs.  I love the ones that I have shared with you.  But I know now that with hard work and a lot of thought I can revise them to be stronger.  This excites me because I can't wait to see what they can become.  But it also shows me that I have a lot of work to do.

2) I have learned I still need to die to myself.  Ya know how Abraham was tested in the Bible by God when he was asked to sacrifice his precious son God gave to him in his old age like a lamb slaughtered on the alter.  Abraham was so close in his relationship with God that he didn't question God. He acted.  When Isaac was following his father (BTW Isaac had to carry the wood for the fire kinda like a cross IMO).  I don't know if there is a connection there to Jesus, but I thought that was interesting. ) he asked him where his father was going to get the animal to sacrifice.  Abraham said God would provide it.  Abraham was willing to die to his love for his son as an act of total obedience and reverence to God.  I have done this with some things in my life, but not with singing and songwriting.  Ever since I was 13 years old I believed it was my calling to be a professional singer and to tour around the world sharing God's love to everyone I met through the voice He gave me.  I have pursued this ever since and have believed this to be my destiny.  But I see now that it has been more about me than about God.  So I am dying to this dream. I am putting it on the alter.  Instead of chasing after it.  I am committing it to God and letting it go.  This doesn't mean I need to stop writing and singing.  What it does mean is that I am going to be living in the present.  Enjoying the journey with God.   And being happy and content if the dream never comes true, but I am able to be used where I am for His glory and purposes.

3) I have learned to be a servant.  I pray every time I go to sing at the Macaroni Grill that God will use me and that I will serve.  I love that.  God gives me His strength and gives me many opportunities to serve people.  My coworkers, the guests.  I love loving others.  It is truly one of the best gifts God has given to me.  I get scared every single time and thoughts of being inadequite and not engaging enough go through my head, but with that prayer, God puts everything back into perspective and it becomes more about others and less about me.  This has been the most fun to learn out of the four.

4)  Through all of the opportunities I have had to listen to other great songwriters and artists talk about making it in the music industry I have felt dissatisfied with where I am at right now.  I have been afraid to post any more songs in fear that they were not good enough yet.  I haven't connected with you here sharing my fears and insecurities and my humanity because I was under the impression that I needed to be looked at as being a professional.  But during this month I searched the core reason why I started this site in the first place and remembered it was to share all of the ups and downs of my process with songwriting and music ministry; indie style.  I am not amazing.  I am not the coolest.   I am a regular person who doesn't find time to take a shower until mid morning because I am busy trying to meet the needs of my family.  I don't wear make-up very much during the weak because I don't really go anywhere other than school, playdates, run errands and such.  I cook and clean and serve my church and community.  I get excited when I hang curtains up in my bedroom and when I go couponing.  Now really that sounds extremely exciting. lol.   We are all on a journey.  God will do what He wants to do with what I am offering.  It just brings me great joy to be real with all of you.  If you are also a songwriter, I want to try and share what I am learning with you and possibly encourage you to stay strong in the process and not give up.

So I know that this blog post has been serious and long, but I am glad I feel more confident to be real again and not wait until I have made it.  

What am I doing now with songwriting?  Well, I am looking at the songs I have posted and working them.  I want to put them back in the fire to see if they need to be refined again.  When I feel they are strong and ready then I will get them rerecorded and post them.  I am also cowriting with four others on songs right now and am looking forward to when they are done.  Each day is new and God is going to lead me.   I might start a page and share some that are in the works.  We'll see.  I still will post more Italian songs for you to listen to. = )  Those are fun.  

Thanks for listening to my heart.  And thank you for joining me.  Have a great rest of your week.

Lara~

I am in the mood to post weird titles on my blog. lol. 

Coupons - here in California we can get coupon inserts in our newspapers that can help to save money on groceries and household items.  My friend got me into couponing when she showed me her pantry out in the garage with 50 boxed of cereal and her linen closet with all of the toiletries you would need in a three - five month period.  She saved so much money using coupons and combining them with instore sales.  It's a science and it can be addictive when the results come in.  I was talking with some friends of mine and realized that there might be others out there who could benefit from doing what I am doing to save money.

Here are a couple blogs I visit regularly that help me a lot find the great deals each week:  http://www.athriftymom.com & http://www.dealseekingmom.com  It takes time to save up your coupons, but it's never too late to start.  What I do each week is I purchase a San Francisco Chronicle Pre Sunday Newspaper on Saturday with coupons in it.  Then on Sunday I get the San Jose Mercury and The Valley News.  It is always wise to buy more than one newspaper so that when a killer coupon comes out you have more than one to use.  

Later on I will try to post a picture of my coupon binder and give you more tips and more websites to check out.  Hope it helps.  If anyone has questions or other great ideas please post them here.  We can all learn from each other.

Now, Italian.  I have been singing Italian songs at Macaroni Grill for a couple of months now I thought it would be fun to have a section on my website devoted to sharing the songs I am singing.  So when I get some alone time I am planning to post podcasts with me singing them in Italian for you all to hear.  Hey why not?  It is part of who I am so I want to share it with you. = )  I am hoping to do this next week.

Well, enjoy your Sunday.  I am looking foward to going and being with my church family.  Let me know if you would like me to continue posting our Pastor's messages on my blog because I would be happy to do that.

Take care.  Talk to you again soon,

Lara~

 Boy I am on a role with blogging right now. lol.  

I forgot to write about two cool things that happened this past Sunday.  At our church we sang "Where I Belong" for the first time.  It was a cowrite I did with Elman Authement, John Green, and Joni Petre.  Our church really liked it and the band enjoyed playing it.  So I think we will bring it back.  That same day I found out that Westminster Chapel in Bellevue, WA sang "Giver Of Grace" again and they added brass to it.  The 3/4 version has been connecting with the older generation at their church because of it's hymn-like feel.

 It is so great to hear these stories.  Thank you Lord that I can be apart of this.  It is so much fun!

I am sitting here eating my dinner and the house is pretty quite.  Brian is working on his computer and I am sitting here reflecting on the day.  Our little girl was so precious today.  First she cleaned her room all by herself,without being asked.  Then she tried to clean Josh's room.  She was helpful and kind.  Sat down and did some of her homework on her own.  Still not quite sure if she was trying to get something out of all of that, we'll see.  She did it with a sweet spirit though.  That was the part I really noticed.  But the one thing that stopped me in my tracks was when she asked for Josh, herself and I to all gather around Austin and pray for him to get better.  He has been very sick lately and almost died last week.  He has made a recovery, however he is still throwing up.  So we might be near the end.  Not sure.  I told her we should put our hands on him and she said, "Well, I was thinking we could put our hands together, but I guess we could touch him." = )  And so we put our hands on Austin and Hannah began to pray.  She said something like "Dear God, I thank you for Austin and how he is eating all of his food and drinking water.  Thank you that he is our dog.  We love him, Amen." Then she asked Josh to pray and he didn't want to so I did and then we were done.  

Ya know, with all of the world's influences surrounding our kids I have been concerned how much our home values have an impact in our children's lives.  Today I saw some fruit from that.  It was a beautiful thing.  

I know I haven't written much lately.  It has been a random, busy couple of weeks.  I was hoping to put up a video or recording of me singing in Italian since I have started doing that at Macaroni Grill on the weekends.  I still might when I have a quiet moment ALONE. lol.  
For those who have joined my mailing list I recently sent out a podcast explaining all the stuff that has been going on these past two months regarding the album.  So if you are interested in hearing the latest you can join my mailing list.  Those who join will receive a free copy of the album when it is done. = )  

I am writing new songs with cowriters and on my own which has been fun.  I am being much more detailed with them then I have been.  I recently read it takes 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration to write a good song.  So I am trying to take that to heart.

Well, til next time.  Hope you all have a great rest of your week.  It's almost candy time.  I just have one question to ask.  Do parents get to have candy too?

 Praise The Lord O My Soul (Psalm 146)
© 2007 Lara Marriott

Praise the Lord
Praise O my soul
I will praise the Lord
all of my days

Sing to the Lord
Sing O my soul
I will sing to the Lord
all of my days

And my heart will change
as I

Sing Praise
To You Lord in heaven
I will sing praise
To the King of my heart
and I will glorify
You with my mind
as I sing, I will sing

Praise the Lord
Praise O my soul
I will praise the Lord
all of my days

Sing to the Lord
Sing O my soul
I will sing to the Lord
all of my days

and I my heart will change
as I 

Sing praise
To You Lord in heaven
I will sing praise
To the King of my heart
and I will glorify
You with my mind
as I Sing praise
To You Lord in heaven
I will sing praise 
To the King of my heart
and I will glorify
You with my life
as I sing, I will sing
as I sing, I will....

Praise the Lord
praise O my soul
I will praise the Lord
all of my days

I wanted to share with you a couple of messages my Pastor, Pastor Mike Barris, gave recently that have ministered to me and challenged me to be serious about my faith in God.  I hope you enjoy them.  I will also leave you with a passage in the Bible I read last night from Ecclesiates.  I loved it.  It was very encouraging for me to read.  God sure does know how to speak to me when I am willing to listen.  It was Ecclesiates chapter 5.  I would recommend you read the entire chapter.  It was all good.

Lara~

?show&file_name=MikeBarris-InALLThingsCountonGod.mp3

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